With apologies to Edward Lear.
In the Feathers Owl bragged of the conquests he’d bagged,
Though he boasted he’d never been smitten.
Said the piggy, “I’ll bet that you won’t ever get
A result with that frisky girl kitten.”
Always up for a dare, the owl tossed back his hair
And he openly leered as he said,
“I will tell you no lie: by the end of July
I’ll have had that young cat in my bed,
My bed,
My bed!
I’ll have had that young cat in my bed!”
So the owl went a-courting, affectedly sporting
A hat which the cat thought quite goofy,
But, exceedingly pissed, she could barely resist
Once he’d doctored her drink with a roofie.
They departed the bar, and he hailed them a car,
And he cried, “Send the bill to the piggy!”
He unlocked the front door, had her there on the floor,
And proceeded to light up a ciggie,
A ciggie,
A ciggie!
He lit up a post-coital ciggie!
When he woke the next day, down beside him there lay
The fair pussycat peacefully sleeping.
He thought, “Heavens above! Can it be I’m in love?”
In his chest a sensation of leaping.
Though reluctant to rouse her, this beautiful mouser,
A thought struck the owl from afar,
And he cooed to the cat as he flew from the flat,
“I am going to buy a guitar,
A guitar,
A guitar!
I am going to buy a guitar!”
July 2007, revised 2010
Tags: Edward Lear, Poetry, Rohypnol, The Owl and the Pussycat
November 10, 2010 at 7:48 pm |
Brilliant! Made me laugh out loud
November 11, 2010 at 8:33 am |
great up-date and a good way to start this wet and windy day
November 11, 2010 at 10:26 am |
Nonsense, dear boy! Here’s the true story:-
http://www.scan-tech.co.uk/mikealx/2010/11/11/how-the-owl-and-the-pussycat-met/
November 11, 2010 at 10:52 am |
I can see that on this subject we shall continue to differ, Mike.
November 11, 2010 at 12:08 pm |
Indeed. And I have heard at least two other opinions on the subject.
When I read this at a little poetry bash, one of the other contributors did a poem about their messy break-up, which was rather amusing.
Thanks for fixing the URL btw.
November 11, 2010 at 4:14 pm |
Hilarious..but I have to say that I prefer Mike A’s version..far more seductive!
November 18, 2010 at 9:44 am |
[...] (Please note that the story of how the Owl and the Pussycat first met is subject to some controversy. Alternative versions of the story may be found here, and here.) [...]
November 18, 2010 at 9:45 am |
Actually, the true story of how the Owl and the Pussycat met may be found here:
http://argumentativeoldgit.wordpress.com/2010/11/18/how-the-owl-and-the-pussycat-met/
November 18, 2010 at 10:18 am |
Nonsense!