With apologies to Edward Lear.
In the Feathers Owl bragged of the conquests he’d bagged,
Though he boasted he’d never been smitten.
Said the piggy, “I’ll bet that you won’t ever get
A result with that frisky girl kitten.”
Always up for a dare, the owl tossed back his hair
And he openly leered as he said,
“I will tell you no lie: by the end of July
I’ll have had that young cat in my bed,
I’ll have had that young cat in my bed!”
So the owl went a-courting, affectedly sporting
A hat which the cat thought quite goofy,
But, exceedingly pissed, she could barely resist
Once he’d doctored her drink with a roofie.
They departed the bar, and he hailed them a car,
And he cried, “Send the bill to the piggy!”
He unlocked the front door, had her there on the floor,
And proceeded to light up a ciggie,
He lit up a post-coital ciggie!
When he woke the next day, down beside him there lay
The fair pussycat peacefully sleeping.
He thought, “Heavens above! Can it be I’m in love?”
In his chest a sensation of leaping.
Though reluctant to rouse her, this beautiful mouser,
A thought struck the owl from afar,
And he cooed to the cat as he flew from the flat,
“I am going to buy a guitar,
I am going to buy a guitar!”
July 2007, revised 2010