Archive for September, 2011

David Croft (1922-2011)

September 27, 2011

The sad news of David Croft’s death has prompted me to reflect on my personal relationship with his work. It began when I was about five years old, I suppose, when I discovered ‘Allo ‘Allo, a series full of cheap gags and yet still audaciously funny. I do not recall a Sunday lunch with my family when I have not had occasion to pass the pepper mill with the phrase ‘It is old, but it still grinds’. Of course, I didn’t pick up on the innuendo upon innuendo at that age, but I did fall profoundly in love with the characters, as I still am. Unusual that a comedy series, and an unashamedly silly one at that, should engage one’s emotions so much.

I remember distinctly my mother or father telling me a year or so later that there was a TV programme on BBC1 that night which they thought I might like. It was Dad’s Army, repeated then (I think) on Tuesday evenings. They were right, of course. I’ve been infatuated with the very idea of sitcoms all my life, and Dad’s Army, one of my first loves, is still pretty much at the top of the tree. A lot of it comes down to the perfection of the performances – particularly those of Arthur Lowe and John Le Mesurier, from whom a minute tilt of the head is capable of sending the viewer into raptures, but also Arnold Ridley, John Laurie, and all the rest – but one has to give great credit to the writing too. One of the first episodes I knew, perhaps the first I ever saw, was ‘A. Wilson (Manager)?’ It has everything. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, you could pay no greater compliment to Croft’s memory than to sit down and watch it now. The series finished 35 years ago, and still it is repeated every week on BBC2. How many writers could make such a boast? Rest in peace, Mr Croft, and thank you.

 

Blind spots

September 21, 2011

My immediate reaction when the question ‘Whose music do you really hate?’ popped up in my Twitter feed was one of weariness. I grow tired of the culture of moaning that seems to assail me from all directions. If it’s not people in Real Life, it’s pathetic television programmes where smug and fatuous Z-listers grumble and grouse about the way these youngsters wear their jeans or how organic produce is a total swizz. It is profoundly tedious to read other people’s complaints. I am aware of the irony of this paragraph.

When Stephen Fry appeared on the programme Room 101 some years ago (it was before the programme was cancelled, I recall), his final choice was Room 101 itself. He and Paul Merton imagined themselves in an alternate reality, on a programe called Room Lovely, where Fry then talked for a few minutes about things he really loved – the iMac, libraries, Kathy Burke… It was such a pleasant relief from the negative emphasis of the rest of the programme that Merton had no choice but to acquiesce, and duly sent Room 101 into oblivion.

I’m a positive person, blithe to the point of Pollyannaism, and so when I see an article called ‘Hands up! Whose music do you really hate?’ I despair slightly. But it turns out to be really rather a fun piece by Jeremy Nicholas about those blind spots we all have, in music as in everything else. Tests have revealed, for instance, that I am medically incapable of becoming interested in The Lord of the Rings or anything related to Star Wars. You will have a similar blockage somewhere (I hope not a physical one).

Where music is concerned, however, I’m not unlike the blessed triumvirate of Andrew McGregor, James Jolly and Rob Cowan, cited by Nicholas in his article, in that it often feels to me that I like more or less everything. If you had asked the ten-year-old Gareth to name his favourite composer, he would have said Ravel and that he was particularly disposed to like French music. Now I’m more of a Germanicist, with Bach and Schubert and Brahms at the top of the tree; but my tastes have broadened generally. I don’t have a favourite composer, still less a favourite time period. Musically, I embrace everything.

But one cannot love all things equally, and there are some objects that seem to resist affection in the most stubborn of manners, no matter how positive one’s intentions. For the purposes of argument, let’s take it as read that all the music generally considered ‘great’ is so – even the dreaded Four Seasons (though as Julie Walters says in a Victoria Wood sketch, I prefer the original – Quattro Formaggi). Disregard Karl Jenkins and Ludovico Einaudi (always a good rule of thumb), and stick to the composers who have incontrovertibly earned their places in history. From these composers, who are the ones we cannot get on with, and why?

The composers Jeremy Nicholas names as among his personal blind spots are, almost without exception, from the twentieth century, and tending towards the modernistic: Lutyens, Tippett, Nono, Bartók, Hindemith, Birtwistle, Boulez, Stockhausen, Carter, Babbitt, Janácek, Bridge, Wagner, Schoenberg. I think there are three indisputable geniuses in that list, and a good handful of others who might justifiably claim to be in the top rank. Certainly none of them I’d gladly dispense with entirely, and Bartók, Stockhausen, Wagner and Schoenberg I would miss enormously. I suspect my own blind spots come principally from earlier times.

Rossini - born on Leap Year Day. The most interesting thing about him, probably.

I believe I am hardly alone in thinking that a little Vivaldi goes a long way, but I have recently found myself coming around to his brand of predictable but sparkly writing. This is not the case with Italian opera from Rossini onwards. I can see much to admire in Rossini’s craftsmanship, but little in the content of the music engages me. Bel canto bores me. Apart from brief periods when I feel in the mood, I can never get very worked up about Verdi either. So the gap of about 100 years between Mozart and Puccini is a closed book at present. My loss. I fully expect my feelings to change one day.

I’m not alone either in the apathy I feel towards Schumann’s orchestral music. A superb writer for the piano, and one of the greatest songwriters the world has ever known, but the symphonies are frankly a bit of a drag, aren’t they? More unusual is the confession that I don’t really get Beethoven’s symphonies. Perhaps this is an illusion created by my mind. The idea of the Beethovenian symphony is sufficiently unattractive to me that I haven’t sat down and listened to one for quite some time. There is very great music in them, and not just in the most celebrated ones, but the sound they make simply fails to appeal. If I could explain these feelings satisfactorily, perhaps the barriers would disappear and I would fall in love with them (as, I think, I was in my teens, particularly with the seventh – I can’t think about the majestic slow movement for too long, or this flimsy theory falls apart entirely). But then there’s not that much disparity between the symphonies of Beethoven and those of Brahms, and the Brahms symphonies I always think of as being among the greatest masterpieces ever committed to paper. Odd.

Come to think of it, I find quite a lot of 19th-century orchestral music plodding and turgid – Berlioz, Liszt and Mendelssohn spring to mind, though there are exceptions in each case. The orchestra swelled in size, and nobody quite got the hang of how to use it until Wagner. I can back none of this up with facts. Mendelssohn peaked around 16, I think, but that’s hardly a criticism when his octet is the greatest piece of music any 16-year-old ever wrote (please offer contradictory evidence in the unlikely event that you have any). I think Vaughan Williams spread himself too thinly. I have never been entirely satisfied by anything he wrote lasting longer than a quarter of an hour.

I wonder if there is a discernible link between my objections to this wide range of composers. It’s probably an indication of superficiality that my assessment of music seems generally to be broken down into two elements, namely surface and content (or, if you prefer, style and substance). There are many composers I love who offer one but not both, or at least not both in equal measure. Take two of my favourite composers, Bach and Respighi. It’s not unfair to suggest that the former has more substance than style (though still plenty of style) and the latter more style than substance (though still more than enough substance to maintain the listener’s interest). With Rossini, the style is there but not enough of the substance; with Beethoven’s orchestral music, it’s the other way around.

Until a few years ago I’d have put Mozart on my list of blind spots, but I am coming quickly to love him. Similarly Handel. In my childhood I didn’t like Bach. (Was I ever that young?) These things do change, as we do ourselves. 99.9% of the time the last thought on my mind is to put on the old Quattro Formaggi, but that still leaves room, however little, for doubt. And so, try as I might, and in spite of the promptings of Jeremy Nicholas, I cannot think of a composer generally acknowledged as one of the greats whose oeuvre has so little effect on me that I would dispense with him altogether. There may come a time when Rossini is exactly what I need.

I’d be delighted to hear about your own blind spots.

That’s Blockbusters!

September 11, 2011

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love —

That thy format is so pleasing; that the contestant must forge a path from top to bottom or from side to side; that a game may not end in a tie; that the tesselations of thy board are so continually stimulating and invigorating, and that thy blue, white and yellow colour scheme is so visually appealing.

That one contestant must face two, apparently to test the validity of the statement that two heads are better than one; that the single contestant often prevails; that thy contestants must shake hands before the contest begins; that politeness reigns over all.

That the Gold Run is so well realised; that after a chain has broken down irrevocably there is still an incentive to continue for the remainder of the minute; that if one fails to make it from end to end there is a monetary consolation.

That thy victorious contestants receive prizes tailored to their interests: that a jazz aficionado will receive a recording session at Abbey Road, a keyboard, and a trip to New Orleans; that a lover of classical music will receive a trip to watch the CBSO record their new CD with Simon Rattle and a holiday in Salzburg; that a boy who has never visited his native land of Hong Kong will be taken there and will meet relatives he has not met before.

That thy contestants are encouraged to remain in touch with the programme after they have left; that the exploits of former contestants will be communicated periodically.

That each school may benefit from the appearance of its pupils: that a special prize may include a top-of-the-range hi-fi system for the sixth-form common room or a state-of-the-art computer with a memory of 40MB; that thy format plays up to the illusion of school by signalling the mid-programme break with the sound of a bell; that what is ostensibly an entertainment programme should also possess an educational brief, and that answers will often be added to by a further illuminating fact or piece of trivia.

That for thy heavenly Host thou hast elected the celestial Bob Holness, his Holy Bobness; that no greater Bob shall ever exist than He; that He shall be worshipped.

That Bob plays up his own absurdity; that the affection between the contestants and Bob is genuine and not ironic; that he is like a teacher who rides a motorbike and wears leather jackets and who is indulgent of cheeky remarks from his charges; that he chastises the contestants gently, after the manner of Bamber Gascoigne; that his hair and his dress always appear impeccable.

That the occasional impertinence of the contestants does not disguise their charm; that the obnoxious contestants will be put gently in their place by Bob; that the contestants are not ashamed of their unfashionable hobbies and interests.

That thou hast given to the world the catchphrase ‘That’s Blockbusters!’ which continues to provide inspiration to others.

That thy theme tune by Ed Welch is so exhilarating and so instantly lovable; that thy cool title sequence was apparently inspired by Blade Runner.

I do not love that so many of thy contestants say ‘haitch’ instead of ‘aitch’, but perhaps this is a sign of the times.

If the title fits…

September 10, 2011

If you’ve been here before, you won’t have escaped my weakness for silly book-related memes. Here’s another, courtesy of Stuck in a Book.

The idea is to answer with the titles of books you’ve read this year. Obviously if you’ve only read a couple of books your range of responses will be limited and you may prefer not to participate, but otherwise I’d be delighted if you’d join me.

One time on holiday:
Misery (Stephen King) [A holiday in Berwick. I do not recommend this town. It's the kind of place where you sprain your ankle getting out of the bath.]

Weekends at my house are:
The Big Sleep (Raymond Chandler)

My neighbour is:
Le Petit Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry) [I've never met him, but let's be optimistic.]

My boss is:
Lady Susan (Jane Austen)

My superhero secret identity is:
Peter Pears (Christopher Headington)

I get changed in a phone box

You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry because:
Blacklands (Belinda Bauer)

I’d win a gold medal in:
Smut (Alan Bennett)

I’d pay good money for:
The Lost Honour of Katharina Blum (Heinrich Böll)

If I were Prime Minister I would:
Love Over Scotland (Alexander McCall Smith)

When I don’t have good books, I:
Meet My Folks! (Ted Hughes)

Loud talkers at the cinema should be:
A Handful of Dust (Evelyn Waugh)


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