How did the Owl and the Pussycat meet?

With apologies to Edward Lear.

In the Feathers Owl bragged of the conquests he’d bagged,
Though he boasted he’d never been smitten.
Said the piggy, “I’ll bet that you won’t ever get
A result with that frisky girl kitten.”
Always up for a dare, the owl tossed back his hair
And he openly leered as he said,
“I will tell you no lie: by the end of July
I’ll have had that young cat in my bed,
My bed,
My bed!
I’ll have had that young cat in my bed!”

So the owl went a-courting, affectedly sporting
A hat which the cat thought quite goofy,
But, exceedingly pissed, she could barely resist
Once he’d doctored her drink with a roofie.
They departed the bar, and he hailed them a car,
And he cried, “Send the bill to the piggy!”
He unlocked the front door, had her there on the floor,
And proceeded to light up a ciggie,
A ciggie,
A ciggie!
He lit up a post-coital ciggie!

When he woke the next day, down beside him there lay
The fair pussycat peacefully sleeping.
He thought, “Heavens above! Can it be I’m in love?”
In his chest a sensation of leaping.
Though reluctant to rouse her, this beautiful mouser,
A thought struck the owl from afar,
And he cooed to the cat as he flew from the flat,
“I am going to buy a guitar,
A guitar,
A guitar!
I am going to buy a guitar!”

July 2007, revised 2010

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9 Responses to “How did the Owl and the Pussycat meet?”

  1. crosseyedpianist Says:

    Brilliant! Made me laugh out loud 😉

  2. carrie's chorus Says:

    great up-date and a good way to start this wet and windy day

  3. Mike A Says:

    Nonsense, dear boy! Here’s the true story:-
    http://www.scan-tech.co.uk/mikealx/2010/11/11/how-the-owl-and-the-pussycat-met/

  4. Gareth Says:

    I can see that on this subject we shall continue to differ, Mike.

  5. Mike A Says:

    Indeed. And I have heard at least two other opinions on the subject. 😉

    When I read this at a little poetry bash, one of the other contributors did a poem about their messy break-up, which was rather amusing.

    Thanks for fixing the URL btw.

  6. Claire Fifi Says:

    Hilarious..but I have to say that I prefer Mike A’s version..far more seductive!

  7. How the Owl and the Pussycat Met « The Argumentative Old Git Says:

    […] (Please note that the story of how the Owl and the Pussycat first met is subject to some controversy. Alternative versions of the story may be found here, and here.) […]

  8. argumentativeoldgit Says:

    Actually, the true story of how the Owl and the Pussycat met may be found here:

    http://argumentativeoldgit.wordpress.com/2010/11/18/how-the-owl-and-the-pussycat-met/

  9. Gareth Says:

    Nonsense!

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